One of the many things which has changed for the better in the legal profession since I became an articled clerk in September 1989 is its attitude towards LGBTQ solicitors.
I was very clear when I started my legal career that being gay (or at least coming out to the firm and colleagues) would not help advance my career. While I had no real direct evidence that that would be the case, my prejudice was based on a fear of being treated with less respect, of standing out for the wrong reasons and of being excluded.
I reasoned that being gay immediately placed me in a small and (then often) invisible minority, and that if I wanted to fit in at work, and not stand out for the wrong reasons, I needed to keep my private life private.
This was all based on the fact that I grew up in an environment where being gay was regarded as being wrong and unacceptable; there was no sexuality discrimination legislation, many attitudes were prehistoric, and so I was concerned that many people would not want a gay lawyer looking after them.
The world was a very different place then…
It was clear to me that it would be best if I kept my sexuality secret, until at least people respected me as a lawyer and I had proven my worth to my employer.
I therefore decided that I should first build my reputation as a solicitor, and that I should play the game (which was very familiar to gay people in the professions at the time) of being careful how I described my life outside work, including no specific references to my partner, and denying any suspicions that I was not straight.
This meant using neutral and non-specific pronouns when talking about my home and social life, avoiding saying anything which I felt could generate speculation, and not bringing anyone with me to work social events.
I can also clearly remember one of my colleagues warning me to “be careful” because someone else was spreading rumours that I was gay. It is an unpleasant truth that being gay at that time was regarded by many people as a weakness or something to be ashamed of. That was the environment at the time.
It was only when I had become an associate, and had been in a relationship with Elton for some time, that I felt confident about introducing him to the firm and to colleagues.
Like many gay people, I had reached the decision that, if other people have an issue about my being gay, that was their problem, not mine.
I also recognised that my partner – who became (and remains!) my husband should not be kept in the background. I was (and remain) proud of our relationship.
I did not come out as such – I just talked about Elton as my partner, and we went to events as a couple. I reasoned that if I was not making an issue about this, then there was no reason for anyone else to do so either.
There was of course no reaction whatsoever (at least to my face), and people continued to accept me as I was. Life became considerably more relaxed.
I asked myself at the time (and have thought about this a lot ever since) whether my fears had been wrong, and whether I should have done this a lot earlier. After all, you are born with your sexuality, and there is no choice about it. This means that being gay or straight is nothing to be ashamed of (or proud about).
The main choice which gay people have to make is when they tell the world about their sexuality. I was almost certainly over-cautious at the start of my career, but the world was a very different place then, and I did not want to give anyone else an excuse to treat me differently.
Changing social attitudes, and my growing confidence, since then mean that I can talk about my husband without any fear of being shunned or mocked. I am not sure that that would have been the case in 1989.
As I see it, diversity and inclusion are all about creating a working environment in which people can be confident of being who they are without fear of not fitting in, or of being rejected or not taken seriously.
I therefore hope that LGBTQ trainee solicitors today do not have any of the fears which I had all those years ago, and can be confident that their sexuality (any more than their gender or eye colour) has nothing whatsoever to do with being a great lawyer.
Charles Pallot is a partner at Ashfords
